When I was child my brother passed away and it grieved me so much that I would pretend to be in a coffin to contact him. Well within a short time I started hearing and seeing spirits. My first encounter with the spirit of suicide I was only 10 years old. I started blaming myself for my brother passing away and I started feeling like life doesn't matter any more. Day and night I was tormented with thoughts of suicide and I found no relief.
By age 16 I started drinking heavy and the thoughts of suicide were going away at times but always coming back but now I felt like I am not good enough at anything so I started to imaging what it would be like to be dead and who would come to my funeral. This went on for a long time. As I was getting ready to graduate from high school I was so messed up on cocaine and meth plus drinking all the time just to numb my feelings because when the spirit of suicide would come before me he would bring such depressing thoughts with him to my mind.
